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Friday, August 6, 2010

Draco and Harry, sitting in a tree....

And I present my conversation that I had today.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: Oh, if it isn’t that bastard Harry Potter. My name is Draco Malfoy. I am a racist, I despise gingers and mudbloods, and my parents work for the man who killed your parents. Do you want to be my friend?
Stranger: Harry? Harry's not here.
Stranger: I'm Neville.
Stranger: Yes, Malfoy?
Stranger: Going to steal my Remembral again?
You: That was so first year.
Stranger: So, what?
You: No, instead I am going to turn you toad...
Stranger: Your*
You: Into a blast-ended skret.
You: and I don't need you to correct me.
Stranger: Skrewt*
Stranger: And you're horrible at Transfiguration.
Stranger: Remember 4th year, where Moody turned you into a ferret?
You: No.
Stranger: And then shoved your arse down Goyle's pants.
You: Th-that was nothing.
Stranger: I lied.
Stranger: I'm not Neville.
You: I thought so.
You: Schlongbottem wouldn't be able to come up with such witty come backs.
Stranger: I'm the "mudblood" mentioned above.
You: Granger.
Stranger: Draco.
You: Don't you DARE filthy my first name with you mouth.
Stranger: Your*
Stranger: Why should I?
Stranger: Huh, Draco?
You: Because Granger.
You: You don't want your little secret to get out do you?
Stranger: And that would be...?
You: You like me.
You: Admit it.
You: I make you blush.
Stranger: Yeah, so?
Stranger: What of it?
You: I catch you sometimes in Potions, daydreaming about some fantasy.
You: Well, there would go your reputaion.
Stranger: Reputation*
You: And your *scoff* Gryfindork "friends"
Stranger: And...we don't have Potions together.
Stranger: What on Earth are you going on about?
You: Wouldn't you like to know..
Stranger: I don't like you Draco.
Stranger: No, I don't.
Stranger: I LOVE you.
You: (*steps out of character* this is the best omgel conversation EVER)
You: *steps back in*
You: ...
You: Granger, your disgusting.
Stranger: And you're a prat who screams like a little girl.
You: No.
You: Its was manly.
Stranger: You know the ferret thing I mentioned earlier?
Stranger: Buckbeak LOVES ferret.
Stranger: Part of his daily diet.
You: It's better then that weasle that loves you.
You: HA! Buckbeak is dead.
Stranger: ...or is he?
You: that savage was slaughted, as should his pathetic owner.
Stranger: The owner's already dead.
You: My Father will be pleased.
Stranger: Your sorry excuse for a father already knows.
Stranger: He was there.
Stranger: ...hey. I'm talking about your father.
You: He is three times the wizard a mudblood like you could ever be,
You: and you know what?
Stranger: Yes?
You: I think that you should go and marry Potter.
You: you two could disgrace the wizarding world together.
Stranger: Very mature, Draco.
Stranger: Very mature.
You: the hopefully the Dark Lord will dispose of you two in a proper fashion.
Stranger: I have an idea of who you should marry.
Stranger: Luna Lovegood.
Stranger: Though she is my friend, she is a bit loony at times.
You: Don't even try to hook me up Granger.
You: I know you want me.
Stranger: Oh, yes.
Stranger: I really want you, Draco.
Stranger: With your gangly body and greasy hair.
You: My hair is not greasy.
You: And I have abs.
Stranger: Excuse me as I suddenly combust with laughter.
Stranger: *guffaws in the distance*
You: see?
You: http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3318/3614951400_092e13661e.jpg?v=0
You: ha.
You: You got own'd
Stranger: Own'd?
Stranger: What is a pure blood like you using Muggle terms?
Stranger: ...suspicious.
You: What? Muggle term?
You: Granger?
Stranger: "Own'd" is a Muggle term.
You: Can I ask you something?
Stranger: Yes, Draco?
You: *hesitates*
You: Does....
You: Never mind.
Stranger: Are you sure about that?
You: Is anyone in the room?
Stranger: Not wanting to ask your damn question?
Stranger: Just you and I, Draco.
You: Doespottertalkaboutmeoften.
Stranger: Harry?
Stranger: Hm, I haven't really noticed before, but now that you ask, he does. Quite a bit.
Stranger: Of course, it's insults toward you.
Stranger: But...
Stranger: You two aren't gay for each other...are you?
You: NO!
You: NO!
You: *shudder*
Stranger: *raises an eyebrow*
Stranger: Are you sure?
You: Positive.
Stranger: Or you haven't come out of your closet yet?
You: Granger, I think I know what my sexual preference is.
Stranger: I'm just making sure. I don't judge.
Stranger: Unlike a certain wizard I know.
You: Understand this.
You: If you ever mention this conversation to ANYONE.
You: Your dead.,
Stranger: I'd be dead if I mentioned I talked to you at all.
Stranger: So, this conversation is 100% classified between you and myself.
You: Yes.
You: But he really talks-
You: *metal kick*
Stranger: It's most just insults and jabs towards your masculanity.
Stranger: Mostly*
You: Go on.
You: Finish.
Stranger: ...that's it.
You: Granger, you and I know that that is NOT it.
You: What of the other things?
You: That aren't "insults and jabs towards your masculinity"?
Stranger: I think he said once, "If Malfoy doesn't shut his face, I'm going to punch him in his gray eyes. Yes, both."
Stranger: Something along those lines.
Stranger: Look, are you sure you aren't homosexual? Or even BIsexual?
You: Even if I was, which I am not, Father would disinherit me.
Stranger: What is he? Homophobic?
You: Extreamly.
You: Worse then that Muggle politician in Australia, Tony Abott.
Stranger: Is he a Muggle?
You: NO!
You: My Father is a PureBlood wizard. Don't you ever forget.
Stranger: ...I was talking about Tony Abott.
You: oh yes.
Stranger: I was just going to point out that he and Hannah Abott from Hufflepuff share the same last name.
You: That is quite a scandle.
You: Father has just apperated home. I must leave.
You: But please Granger.
Stranger: How do you have a computer anyway, Draco?
You: *soft voice*
You: Please don't tell anyone
Stranger: Can I tell Crookshanks?
Stranger: My cat?
Stranger: I can't keep everything bottled up.
You: *glares*
Stranger: Someone would be bound to find my diary, y'know.
You: Your enjoying this aren't you.
Stranger: Alright. Alright. Fine. I won't say a word to anybody.
Stranger: Not even Crookshanks.
You: Okay then.
You: Goodbye, Granger.
Stranger: Goodbye, Draco.
Stranger: I still have no idea why you're on a Muggle contraption.
You: Neither do I.
You: Boredom is a strange thing.
Stranger: I agree.

I am such a gun Draco.

Love Malfoy.



Toongen said...

Haha, that's so epic!!!!

Sir Miffington Quack Quack said...

That was so awesome, I even read the whole thing!!